The difficulty many adults experience when talking to kids about death has a lot to do with the difficulty they experience when talking about death with peers. Death and grief may be a hard topic for some, but those challenges have a lot to do with culture, context, and a vernacular that favors euphemisms. Similarly, the expectations we put on children and the assumptions we make about their feelings will impact an adult’s effectiveness. Working towards being a helpful support system in a child’s life requires an understanding of their grief experience along with a shift in adult expectations. Understanding how we’ve arrived at a moment in time when grief is becoming increasingly pathologized is crucial to being in dialogue with children, as it helps us adults understand our own assumptions and inherited ideas about grief, children, and “helping.” A historical context will lead to tangible ways to reframe how we think about dying and grief and their implication on our living. Lastly, we’ll explore the impact of listening and supporting children from a place of understanding.

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